Kids say the darndest things

Lately the kids have been hilarious.

Nolan~ "I need to do my homework so I can go to college"

Madison~ "Nolan William Rich!! Get over here right now mister or mother will put you in time out, won't you mother?!!"

Nolan ~"How does Coulson turn his head if he doesn't have a neck?"
Judd ~ "he has a neck son, he's just wearing a collar"

Madison~ "I know that man is not Santa. He's just some old guy wearing a suit pretending to be Santa. Besides I don't need a Santa. I know you and dad put the presents under the tree anyway." (don't worry, as of Christmas morning she still believes)

Mom~ "Nolan, pick up your toys or I'm going to throw them away"
Nolan~ "Okay, throw them away then"

Madison~ "Why do we have to have that for dinner?!?! Someday when I'm like 37 and I have to cook for my kids I will only make stuff that tastes good, like cookies and cake and cereal. I'll wear my strawberry shortcake apron. It will be awesome"

Madison~ "Can our next baby have dark skin?"

For Christmas Madison brought home this little cookbook that they made in her class. They asked all the kindergartners to choose their favorite recipe, tell the ingredients and how to prepare it. As I looked through it I saw one little boy had chosen pizza and told to make the dough and put on toppings. Another did spaghetti and gave instructions to boil water and heat the sauce. Then when I reached Madison's page I couldn't help but crack up laughing. This is what hers says word for word

Blueberry Waffles:
Take them out of the freezer. Cook them in the toaster. Put them on a plate and put the syrup on them. Put blueberries on top.

I swear I cook. At least it wasn't as bad as this kid:
Cereal.
Pour cereal and milk in a bowl. Eat it with a spoon.

I love kindergarten!!!

Junk Food and other stuff

Don't you just love Christmas time and how it makes your waist line a little bigger each day? I swore to myself this year that I would be good and not over do it. I've been doing really good at my work out lately and I thought I would be able to keep stuff under control. However, I keep receiving plates of cookies and candy and they just sit there on my counter all day staring at me. They are saying "eat me" in flashing lights and I give in.
So Please...if you care about me at all you will refrain from bringing sugary stuff to me for Christmas. Scratch that... if you care about me at all don't bring me anything EDIBLE! I will love you just the same if you just give me a card.

In other news Nolan is driving me crazy. He is probably one of the reasons why I am eating all this junk food. He is a little stress causer. I don't know what it is with him now a days. Are your kids ever so naughty that you think about dropping them off at a fire station? Pretend I didn't just write that. Today, for instance. I had to take a toy away from him and you would think I'd ripped his arm off or something. He threw the biggest fit. Rolling around, throwing stuff and having the "Ugly Cry" I know all you mom's know what "the ugly cry" is. The cry that makes you want to cover your face and pretend you don't know them. Well, he was doing that and I put him in his room where he continued to throw things against the wall, rip the covers off of his bed and slam his door. Is this what I really signed up for?
He shuts it off as fast as he turns it on though. We went for a fun junk food ;) making party at Natalie's a few minutes later and he was good as gold for 2 hours. I brought him home for his nap and when I laid him down he was smiling at me. I was wondering what the smile was for because it was pretty mischievous. I asked him and he said "I just think you're pretty."
This is where I feel a quote from Bella Swan would be appropriate... "Your mood swings are giving me whiplash"

Anyway, hope everyone is having A very fat, I mean Merry Christmas. Except you, Jessica Slade, who somehow loses 8 lbs in the month of December!!!! How is that humanly possible around the holidays?!?!?!

Musings

Well, what can I say...I've been super busy and have wanted to blog so bad but I have to think of something to write about. Nothing exciting has been going on. We did get our family pictures taken as you can see above. That was interesting. The kids did make it through pretty well. Any hoo.... things on my mind have been the following...

Very glad that I married my husband. Tonight at dinner we were talking about why we married each other, and no, it wasn't as mushy as it sounds. His main reason was that I didn't have any credit card debt like other girls in college did. Geez could he be any smoother.

I decided that he was meant for me. He is quite possibly the only man on the face of the earth that will put up with my crap, and believe you me, there is a lot of it. He does it gracefully. There is a certain comforting reassurance every time we fight and he is annoying the %@#! out of me. I think "Well, this is the best I'll ever have it, so I might as well enjoy it. Even the fighting." Our fights get pretty interesting after that. I say "fights" but what I really mean is me complaining and irritating and pressing his buttons... all the while him putting up with it until he's finally had enough and actually says something back. Like I said, he's perfect for me.

I am perfect for him too though. He's still a kid at heart and most of the time he needs someone to boss him around and reassure him. A week ago he decided to go bird hunting alone. I said "you should take my cell phone" he said "I'll only be gone a little while" i said "just be quiet and take the phone!"
Can you see where this is going?
Well he's up in the mountains doing whatever guys do when they are alone with a gun... shooting at things running through the desert playing army soldier... i don't know. Its about 5:00 and the sun is going down. I get dinner cooking on the oven, am getting ready to lay the baby down for a nap, cleaning, listening to crazy kids, the usual. The phone rings and its him. He's locked his keys in the trunk of his car and he's out on the side of the road in BFE. He doesn't know what to do. I say "break the window" He doesn't want to do that because its expensive, I say "call AAA" he says "its dark and I'm sitting out here in the middle of nowhere. Who knows when they'll show up" I say "well what the heck do you want me to do?" We decided that I would go pick him up. So I take my dinner that is half way done off of the stove, load up a whiny baby and hyper kids and take the 35 minute drive to get him. Its a good thing he brought that cell phone because it would have been a long walk.
Well, I finally get there and he is still contemplating what to do. Now he's decided he doesn't want to leave his car because he's locked his gun in it. I say "just break the ding dang window!!"
I get out of the car to be "supportive" He picks up a rock the size of a football and is standing by his car staring at it. He really didn't want to do it. But I was being that inner "bad" voice "do it, do it, do it" I was excited. Vandalism at its best. He admitted he was feeling a little nauseous (don't you dare tell him I told you that) because he doesn't like breaking things. You're a MALE for goodness sakes. Breaking things is what you're best at! So he starts hitting the window reluctantly. It breaks and I can tell he's upset that I talked him into it, but he was a good sport. I went back home still pretty irritated that I had to drive all the way out there just so he could break the window. Long story short, he needs me.

Anyway just a few ponderings on my mind. Hope you've enjoyed them!

Mad Mud Run

I had my mud run today. It was really fun. Really Cold. Really Muddy, but fun. Here's some fun pictures.

This was the team I raced with from my gym. Me, Amber, Alyssa, Heidi and Lovinda. We were nice and clean.

Me getting ready (still clean). I brought the kids. My dad played photographer and babysitter at the same time. Very talented.
The mud pit. That's me in the middle. My shirt was yellow. I wondered how Amber stayed so clean. Cheater! Amber: judd has brought to my attention that you threw mud in my face. Check seconds #8-9.

This was my forever long line to get rinsed off. Those little white tents are dressing rooms in which it was best to have no shame if you know what I mean.

G.N.O. pics

Thanks to Steph for sharing pictures. I always forget my camera!
This I thought was funny. These bags say "Hyperventilating bags...don't forget to breath" A little extreme.

Here are our awesome shirts. We looked so cool!

Hanging in the lawn chairs. Sandee brought this fun game called Curses. Marianne was doing sign language, Amber had dancing arms, I had to talk in an Irish accent. It was too fun.

Don't worry, we didn't bust out the Quija board;) Just kidding!! Geez!
Fun times with a mean waitress at Chili's!

Worth The Wait

We went to our movie last night and let me just say...It did not disappoint!! Waiting all night and being in a theater with a broken AC unit was totally worth it! We did get a free pass though, and I will be going to see it again next weekend. I only slept about 3 hours last night. About the movie... no spoilers, but I must say that Edward was WAY better than I thought he would be. In fact I was pleasantly surprised with all of the actors. All in all it had to be the best girls night out ever. Marianne says it is the best movie of all time. I can't tell if she means the script was great or she's obsessed with Edward. It was the perfect mix of funny, romance, excitement and hotness. I'll post some fun Pictures as soon as someone sends me some because I forgot my camera like always!!!

nothing good

Okay, I usually try to get on here once a week. Nothing great enough has happened, to write about. Had a great Girl's night out with Marianne!! (Thanks for that, by the way)... I've been going to the gym... butts sore, backs sore, legs sore... got a wonderful massage from Stephanie (THANKS!) BUT....Only one more day until our movie. YAY. I will take tons of pictures to share with you all on Friday! Kids are good, getting over colds, like the rest of you I'm sure. I can play one full Christmas song on the piano! In case you didn't know, I've been taking piano for over a year, and I'm slowly getting to the point where piano is fun. My house is a mess, my car needs to be washed, I need to vacuum and mop, but guess what... I'm going to go lay in my bed and watch TV until I fall asleep because my kids are napping. Why not!?

Funny Memories

Today I took the boys to the mall to do some shopping. As I walked past Victoria's Secret a memory flashed into my mind...
It was over the summer and I had taken all three kids to the mall (don't ask why, I must be crazy) While I was there I decided I needed a new bra, so I took the kids into Victoria's Secret and was trying on bras and had them with me in the dressing room (even crazier) They weren't too naughty actually. While I was at the check out line I heard Madison say.... "OOOh I just love this pretty dress, can I have one??" I turned around and what I saw probably made my face turn bright red. There was Madison, standing next to a mannequin that was wearing the raciest lingerie you've ever seen and she was rubbing its naked behind!!! To make things worse Nolan was rubbing the rear of the one next to it. The store was packed and people were just laughing. My kids are strange.

Politics by Madison and Nolan

Madison "I voted at school today. I voted for John McCain because my mom told me I had to. Jacob in my class voted for Barak Obama, but Ariel said her mom told her Barak Obama steals people's money. I don't want him to steal my money because I want to buy a green power ranger from Wal Mart.

Nolan "Barak Obama tells lies and he needs to go to time out."

Human Infomercial

You can tell your kids watch too much TV when they have the infomercials memorized.

Madison - "Mom, can I have moon sand for my birthday? It comes in twelve different colors and it never dries out. There is even a little case that you can pack it in and it never makes a mess. Its only one payment of $19.99. And if you call now they will give you two extra colors."

or

"Mom you should get the rug stick. If cleans the carpet very good. It cleans pet stains, traffic areas, area rugs and even stairs. It will even clean white carpet."

or

"We HAVE to get the pancake puff. You can make all different kinds of pancakes and make them into balls. You can decorate them with an incing thing that comes with it. You can use it for breakfast or birthday parties or any type of party. If you order in the next 20 minutes they will double your order for no extra cost. Hurry mom!"

I'm really not joking either. She has them memorized. It sounds just like that. She's going to be one of those poor people who gets sucked into buying everything.

What do you get when you gobble down treats?

I must say that Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I love to make the costumes and every year I get a little more crafty. This year Madison decided to be wonder woman. This was one of my funnest costumes yet. Nolan was a cowboy because that's what I told him to be, otherwise he would be batman every year. And, plus it was easy to put together.

We had our Ward Halloween party on Saturday and that is always so much fun. We have it at the neighborhood park so its nice to let the kids run around unsupervised.

It seems every Holiday that has anything to do with candy, we seem to lose Madison. Wait... Madison sneaks off to see what what goodies she's rounded up. During Easter Egg Hunts, she can't even wait until the hunt is over. She pops those eggs open as soon as she gets one and eats all the candy. Or if we are at a party with a pinata she grabs as much candy as she can and hides somewhere to eat it all and then usually feels sick the rest of the night. I tell you my kids are smart! Well last night was no exception. She did her trick or treat rounds and then I realized that I hadn't seen her in a while. I looked under the ramada, and guess what I saw?!?! yes, Madison gobbling up all of her candy. All of the other kids were playing and going for seconds and thirds in the trick or treat line, but there was my kid, hoarding her candy.

So I come to my next favorite thing about Halloween. RECYCLING! When we came home from our party I had the kids pick 15 pieces of candy that they wanted to keep (Judd and I kept some too, just the good stuff) and the rest goes right into the bowl to hand out to trick or treaters on Halloween. I know I will only be able to keep this up for a year or two more, but right now the kids don't seem to mind.

I was excited to get them all sort of looking at me at the same time. Had to show it off
Coulson loved his flannel shirt so much that he tried to eat it. This was one of many attempts to get a good shot.
Judd didn't have a costume so I decided to shave a pumpkin into the back of his head. It was a big hit.These are the cutest cowboy pictures!!! I was so happy!

You gotta love him!

"You have the potential to become anything to which you set your mind. You have a mind and a body and a spirit. With these three working together, you can walk the high road that leads to achievement and happiness. But this will require effort and sacrifice and faith."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley

I am an Awesome Wife!

Judd's birthday is on Tuesday. He's going to be 31! Since he has school on Tuesday nights, I decided I would take him out last night. Let me tell you how cool I am. I planned this whole really cool night out. This is what was supposed to happen...
I was going to borrow my dad's quad and we were going to drive up into the mountains and have a fire and cook dinner and watch the sunset in while it was quiet. I made a special CD to listen to that was semi-romantic. He had no idea about this so I was getting excited. It took some planning. I bought all the yummy food and my dad had it all prepared and strapped up to the quad so we could just drive right up there and go.
Here's where things start going wrong.
The whole day Judd is trying to pry out of me what's going on. I didn't budge. I told him to dress super casual, but wear cologne. He thought I was taking him line dancing. I'm not that lame!!! Anyway, we get all dressed and head up to my parents house to pick up the truck. Its about 5:15 and we are making good time. We drive up to the place we were going and a sign said that the gates are closed from sunset to sunrise, so we were worried that we were going to get locked in. So we decided to drive down there and ask someone if we would be stuck in there. The first people we saw were these guys who looked like they lived down there. They had this old beat up camper and were playing horse shoes and were so drunk they could hardly stand up. Judd gets out of the car to ask them, and of course, like everyone Judd meets, he becomes their instant best friend. They let us know that we would be able to get out because they have 2x12 pieces of wood that they can lay over the tire guards. Thank goodness we didn't need them.
Now we are pressed for time because of all the messing around. We parked the truck and started to unload the quad. We quickly found out that one of the straps for the ramp was broken, so we tried to fix that. So while Judd is swearing and trying to fix the ramp I was watching the sun set over the mountains!! That was supposed to be romantic time!! Finally, its almost dark, we get the quad down and start driving fast to find a spot before we can't see anymore. We almost got ran over twice and I swallowed a bug, but we found a spot. Judd had to hurry and find fire wood and I was trying to get everything ready. I pulled out my radio with my romantic CD only to find I didn't bring enough batteries, dang it! Judd was collecting fire wood and found a scorpion on his arm! Drunk people could be heard shouting in the distance, we missed the romantic sunset. Judd lifted up his chair and got dirt all over my steaks. But you know what?!?!? It was one of the funnest nights ever. Our dinner was sooooo yummy (a little gritty from the dirt, but still yummy). Steaks, corn on the cob, tater tots, garlic toast and pie for dessert. The weather was beautiful, Judd got to shoot his gun. We got to hang out around the fire and talk. It was awesome. See husbands!!! See what a little planning can do?!?!? The disasters only made it more of an adventure. Next time we'll leave a little earlier.

Move Over Twilight....

This book is soooooo crazy. I seriously couldn't put it down, really I contemplated not sleeping just to read it. If you love Twilight you have to read this. Its not a vampire book but it is gooooood! Okay, so maybe not better than Twilight but definitely right up there.

A Tribute to Fashion

I am so glad that I have a girl. I get to dress her in pretty clothes, braid and curl her hair, play dress up and house. Oh wait... I don't just have any girl, I have my Madison. Man, is she as unique as they come. Lately I've been trying to let her be more independent. I let her get her own snacks, go to the bathroom at church by herself and little things like that to make her feel like she is a big girl.

I love to shop for kids clothes. Especially girl clothes. They make the cutest stuff for little girls now days. So before school started I took Madison school shopping to get some new outfits. She's picked up on my love for shopping lately. She goes through the isles picking things out left and right.

"Look at this, can you believe how cute this is???" she says

or "I can't believe it, this is the most fashionable shirt."

So we shopped and found many cute things including Sketchers shoes that she had to have that were $45!!! I don't even spend that much on my own shoes. She was happy.

So now we are almost through the first quarter of the school year and ask me how many of those outfits shes worn. Go ahead. Ummm, about zero. She won't even wear her new shoes. She continues to wear her bratz shoes even though they give her blisters. I have been in many an argument trying to get that girl to wear her new stuff, but only to be in a torturous power struggle.

I've decided that I don't care anymore. Its her outfit and her social funeral. Just kidding, I don't think kindergartners even give two hoots for what each other are wearing, so why should I?? If she feels good about her outfits then that's all that matters. It won't be too many years until she is dragging me through that horrible Hollister store. That horrible store that has no lights so you can't even see the price of the $50 thin as heck t-shirt you're buying, and is like a maze that keeps you locked inside and plays the loudest music that makes you want to have a seizure. Okay, so you know now that I hate that store. Anyway, I know that's where we will be in a few years and I should just enjoy the cheap clothes while I can.

So I've decided to do a little fashion slide show of the outfits she's worn the last couple of days to school. One week she wore the same pants 3 days in a row!!! I'm really bummed that I didn't get a picture of the black purple and blue leopard print dress with a bright yellow shirt underneath. That one is classic. I'm sure she'll wear it again. I'll keep you posted.